Yugen
So this Covid-19 pandemic hit has made me come back to this space again.
Malaysia has entered its third phase (the sixth week) of movement control order. It is an uncertain time, and until the next government announcement this movement control order decision to be lifted or extended will only be known.
For the past 5 weeks of partial lockdown, work is still as usual for me as fnb is an essential service. It’s only half a day in the office to settle some work to get things going, so it’s pretty alright with myself.
Regardless, I had a lot of time to myself after work are settled. I binged watch on movies and dramas that I missed, cried a lot with k-dramas, been cooking a lot and then amazes with myself when the dishes turn out better than expected, well I’m also on my bed most of the time hahahah.
In between of those things, I take pauses to gather thoughts and to reflect upon.
Looking right out to the sky through this big piece of window in my room with my earphone on, currently playing to a sleep therapy track called ‘Of Moon and Stars by Sonic Aid’... I smiled with hope.
I’ve been slowly learning to shift my mind to think of the blissful things that I’m grateful about when negative thoughts come by. Lately I had some troubled sleepless night, which explains why I am listening to sleep therapy music. I find them helpful in calming myself down, so I listen to them before sleep and even when I’m driving to work to keep myself positive for the day. I guess things just became a little rough when you’re left to glue pieces back.
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I’d like to list down the things that came to my mind so I can remind myself when I come back to this space again :)
Things that I’m grateful for / and learnt along :
1. Grateful that I’m still living life itself, doing the daily mundane cooking, working, driving and etc. It is so life that I feel grateful inside ; always try to be content with everyday life.
2. Grateful that I have my family and best friends who I can call during difficult times and providing support to each other.
3. I learnt how to walk away from toxic people. As I grew older, I realized how important it is to surround myself with positive people for the overall well-being of my mental state. It feels draining to listen to people who complains and see the bad side of everything most of the time. It was really not easy for me back then to walk away from toxic people.
4. I learnt that we cannot control the things that happen around us most of the time, either accept it, or make changes for the better, or just move forward.
5. Grateful that I learnt how to take better care of myself and respect myself by coming honest with my own feelings on what I like or dislike. I no longer feel intimidate to reject doing things that doesn’t make me feel happy.
6. Life doesn’t get better instantly, but it does... slowly.
7. Healing doesn’t have a timeline, some days it feels like you got it under control but the next day it all feel crappy again. With that, healing is a long process.
8. I learnt that my life belongs to only myself, and it’s not owned by my parents or anybody else. Dare to live your life as to how you want it - I’m super grateful with my parents always being supportive.
Do you know that if you just smile, your mood will be lifted somehow.
A smile spurs a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that can make you feel happier.
With smiles,
Sheryl D x
Malaysia has entered its third phase (the sixth week) of movement control order. It is an uncertain time, and until the next government announcement this movement control order decision to be lifted or extended will only be known.
For the past 5 weeks of partial lockdown, work is still as usual for me as fnb is an essential service. It’s only half a day in the office to settle some work to get things going, so it’s pretty alright with myself.
Regardless, I had a lot of time to myself after work are settled. I binged watch on movies and dramas that I missed, cried a lot with k-dramas, been cooking a lot and then amazes with myself when the dishes turn out better than expected, well I’m also on my bed most of the time hahahah.
In between of those things, I take pauses to gather thoughts and to reflect upon.
Looking right out to the sky through this big piece of window in my room with my earphone on, currently playing to a sleep therapy track called ‘Of Moon and Stars by Sonic Aid’... I smiled with hope.
I’ve been slowly learning to shift my mind to think of the blissful things that I’m grateful about when negative thoughts come by. Lately I had some troubled sleepless night, which explains why I am listening to sleep therapy music. I find them helpful in calming myself down, so I listen to them before sleep and even when I’m driving to work to keep myself positive for the day. I guess things just became a little rough when you’re left to glue pieces back.
———————————
I’d like to list down the things that came to my mind so I can remind myself when I come back to this space again :)
Things that I’m grateful for / and learnt along :
1. Grateful that I’m still living life itself, doing the daily mundane cooking, working, driving and etc. It is so life that I feel grateful inside ; always try to be content with everyday life.
2. Grateful that I have my family and best friends who I can call during difficult times and providing support to each other.
3. I learnt how to walk away from toxic people. As I grew older, I realized how important it is to surround myself with positive people for the overall well-being of my mental state. It feels draining to listen to people who complains and see the bad side of everything most of the time. It was really not easy for me back then to walk away from toxic people.
4. I learnt that we cannot control the things that happen around us most of the time, either accept it, or make changes for the better, or just move forward.
5. Grateful that I learnt how to take better care of myself and respect myself by coming honest with my own feelings on what I like or dislike. I no longer feel intimidate to reject doing things that doesn’t make me feel happy.
6. Life doesn’t get better instantly, but it does... slowly.
7. Healing doesn’t have a timeline, some days it feels like you got it under control but the next day it all feel crappy again. With that, healing is a long process.
8. I learnt that my life belongs to only myself, and it’s not owned by my parents or anybody else. Dare to live your life as to how you want it - I’m super grateful with my parents always being supportive.
Do you know that if you just smile, your mood will be lifted somehow.
A smile spurs a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that can make you feel happier.
With smiles,
Sheryl D x
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